If one was to peruse through the most popular tropes in women-oriented romance novels, it would be largely found that there is a preference for a ‘bad boy’ romance. Think mafia lovers, mob-boss husbands, aggressive and mean CEOs, kidnappers and so on. Aside from the dark corners of online fan fiction, such tropes can also be found in mainstream media– with Stephanie Meyers’ Twilight that follows Bella, a schoolgirl and Edward, a centuries old vampire, or the subsequent Twilight inspired but much darker and sexual Fifty Shades of Grey— where Anastasia, the classic good girl, becomes a sex-slave to CEO Christian Grey. Both these novel series and their film adaptations have enjoyed immense success and constitute unforgettable pieces of pop culture.
More contemporary bad boy novels such as the works of Colleen Hoover face vehement criticism for ‘romanticising’ abuse.
Twilight and Fifty Shades also faced immense criticism for their content. More contemporary bad boy novels such as the works of Colleen Hoover face vehement criticism for ‘romanticising’ abuse. Why are they still so popular? And why does this trope often take the darker turn of an abusive relationship dynamic? Why do women enjoy the fantasies of the sorts of men they would avoid in real life?
The answer is more nuanced than it seems, and is rooted in the systemic oppression that disallows women to reveal their sexual desires. Female sexual desire has been historically vilified. Women showing sexual desire faced violent repercussions such as genital mutilation and circumcision in the 1800s and were later considered to be plagued with hysteria by the psychoanalysts in the 1900s. Society has now progressed to recognise that female sexual desire does indeed exist; but we can never fully absolve the centuries of stigma that surrounds the expression of such a desire. A crucial piece of this puzzle is also the Madonna/Whore complex.
The madonna/whore complex
The Madonna/Whore complex was first recognised by Sigmund Freud in psychoanalytic literature, to address the issue of sexual impotence in men who were in a loving, committed relationship. Men were unable to view women they loved in a sexual lens, because they divided women into either Madonnas– meanings pure, chaste, virginal women; and whores– meaning women who indulged in sex and had deviant sexual desires.
The Madonna is seen to be a woman who is worthy of love, affection and devotion; owing to her saintly attributes. She shows no signs of sexual desire and maintains a chaste, pure image. Men found themselves to recognise the women they loved as madonnas (mothers, sisters, wives) and thus these women were worthy of love and respect. However, once they had sexual relations with their wife, they were unable to view her as a madonna again.
The whore is not respectable the way the madonna is, and hence the men were either not able to have sexual relations with their wife (who was deemed a madonna) or love their wife once again after having sexual relations with her. The act of sex, for the woman, was seen to degrade her.
Women who desire and enjoy sex still fear the possibility of being construed as whores.
Women who desire and enjoy sex still fear the possibility of being construed as whores. It is shameful for women to express their sexual desires or even the fact that they have sexual desires– and thus begins the root of the bad boy fantasy. Fantasising about a bad boy or a forceful man rids women of the entrenched guilt and shame that is connected with desire. This fantasy centres around a man who aggressively feeds into the desires of the woman, without her having to ask for it. She can be a damsel in distress to whom the sexual act just ‘happens’, with her having little to no say in the act itself.
Bivona, Critelli, and Clark (2008) argue that these fantasies serve as a psychological loophole, allowing women to experience and explore their desires without the burden of self-blame or guilt. This aligns with Freud’s Madonna/Whore complex, where women are often categorised as either virtuous and chaste or sexually deviant, forcing them to navigate their own desires through indirect means.
Moreault and Follingstad (1978) further examined how sex guilt affects women’s fantasies, demonstrating that higher levels of guilt correlate with more intense and explicit fantasies, particularly those involving coercion. This suggests that rather than a reflection of an inherent desire for harm, such fantasies are a response to cultural conditioning that shames female sexuality.
This suggests that rather than a reflection of an inherent desire for harm, such fantasies are a response to cultural conditioning that shames female sexuality.
Virginie Despentes, in her work King Kong Theory, articulates a similar perspective, arguing that societal structures have historically confined female sexuality to a submissive framework, where pleasure is only permissible if framed as something externally imposed.
The fantasy of the bad boy
Nancy Friday, an American author who wrote on female sexuality, conducted an experiment wherein she published a classifieds advertisement in newspapers asking women to anonymously reveal their deepest sexual desires. The subsequent compilation of these entries is the book My Secret Garden, which includes the fantasy of force as one of the most common fantasies the submissions had–
‘…R-pe does for a woman’s sexual fantasy what the first martini does for her in reality: both relieve her of responsibility and guilt. By putting herself in the hands of her fantasy assailant, by making him an assailant, she gets him to do what she wants him to do, while seeming to be forced to do what he wants. Both ways she wins, and all the while she’s blameless, at the mercy of a force stronger than herself. The pain she may suffer, the bruises and indignity, are the necessary price she pays for getting the kind of guiltless pleasure she may be unable to face or find in reality.‘
Discussions about the bad boy trope often centre around how such media gives leverage to men who argue that women enjoy assault in the first place. It is important to understand here that this is not a fantasy about assault. This fantasy only serves to mitigate the shame felt by women on giving consent to sex, or expressing the ways in which they want to seek pleasure. It goes without saying that women enjoying the bad boy trope do not wish to be eve-teased or harassed in real life.
In literature, such tropes are commonly found in the “dark romance” category of books that are growing rapidly in popularity. A lot of hue and cry ensued with the release of It Ends With Us, the film adaption of a Colleen Hoover book that revolves around an abusive relationship.
Colleen Hoover has been the centre of discourse for her literature that often involves a heterosexual relationship with skewed power dynamics, along with a generous amount of sexual scenes. These books find popularity among young readers, especially teenage girls who discover Young Adult romance novels for the first time.
It is interesting to note that the hue and cry surrounding romance novels dates back to the 1700s.
It is interesting to note that the hue and cry surrounding romance novels dates back to the 1700s. Pamela or Virtue Rewarded is one of the first known romance novels, and the subject matter of this novel deals with Pamela, a 15 year old maidservant who is harassed by her employer, Mr. B, repeatedly. She rejects his advances due to her strong religious morals, even though she desires his approval. Towards the end of the story, Mr. B formally proposes marriage to Pamela and she agrees, bringing the story to a ‘happy’ ending.
Pamela was the single most popular piece of literature in the decade following its release. It’s widespread popularity owed to the primarily female audience finding satisfaction in the chaste virtues of Pamela, which were rewarded by marriage proposal from Mr. B who was of a much higher class position than her. However, criticism of Pamela was abundant as well. People were upset with the inter-class marriage and promiscuity, which were also exactly the parts which made Pamela famous amongst its female audience.
‘Force’ fantasy, bad boys and moral outrage
The reason why Pamela, or contemporarily Colleen Hoover, Twilight and many such romance novels with abusive men gain popularity among women is due to the ‘forceful’ fantasy they offer, of a woman getting the sexual pleasure she desires without having to ask for it. And the reason why they face criticism, over the years, is because people disagree with the sexual (or suggestive) content, along with the problematic nature of relationship involved.
As a contemporary example, Colleen Hoover’s It Ends With Us has received both praise and backlash. Some readers credit the book with opening discussions about domestic abuse and its complex emotional realities, drawing from Hoover’s personal experiences. Many survivors of domestic violence have shared that the novel helped them reflect on their own situations. However, critics argue that the book inadvertently romanticises toxic relationships, portraying dangerous behaviors as emotionally complex rather than outright harmful.
One review from Domestic Shelters critiques the novel for reinforcing toxic masculinity, glorifying a charismatic but abusive male lead while delivering an ultimately anti-feminist message. Another article from Lanthorn points out that Hoover’s portrayal of abuse lacks the necessary depth to challenge problematic power dynamics. The controversy surrounding Hoover’s work escalated when she announced a colouring book based on It Ends With Us, which was met with immediate backlash for trivialising domestic violence. As a review on the Slate read,
‘The negative response was swift and overwhelming, for obvious reasons. It Ends With Us is a book about domestic violence. Hoover detractors who say she romanticises abuse had a new weapon in their arsenal: How can Hoover pretend she takes the subject matter seriously while creating cutesy, juvenile merchandise?‘
Any understanding of fantasy reveals clearly that it would be a nightmare if such a fantasy is made real.
Any understanding of fantasy reveals clearly that it would be a nightmare if such a fantasy is made real. No woman wants to be in a workplace environment where her boss is constantly making sexual advances towards her, and neither does any woman want a dangerous, criminal mafia-boss as her lover. All these things are confined to the realm of fantasy as they offer escape from the shame associated with asking clearly what one desires.
A workplace romance with one’s boss is only attractive with the underlying presumption that they are interested in the boss. Thus, even if the fantasy involves abuse, force, or misuse of power– the implicit consent is what makes this fantasy desirable.
Engaging with young adult literature and the ‘bad boy’ trope with nuance is important, instead of a ‘purity’ mindset. Questions can definitely be raised as to why there is a resurgence in the popularity of abusive fanfiction and online books, and if such can be tied to gender roles becoming stronger as the world faces a right-wing shift. Research also suggests that as societal views on female sexuality evolve, the need for such guilt-avoidance mechanisms may decrease (Bivona, Critelli, and Clark, 2008).
However, the continued success of books featuring ‘problematic’ male leads—such as Twilight, Fifty Shades of Grey, and Colleen Hoover’s novels—indicates that these dynamics still resonate with many readers. As women experience less shame in expressing their desires, the popularity of such a trope will automatically decrease. Banning or discouraging young readers from engaging with such literature proves to be counterproductive, at best.
