So Divyangna Trivedi came out with another of her anti-feminist video again. I don’t want to put this out as a hate/bullying reply to her opinions, because I am deeply disheartened by how she, in 10 short minutes, very easily denied all that is actually and practically faced by the women in our country or abroad. She is probably right when she says that she is really privileged to voice her opinions, especially without having a holistic understanding of our society and women’s position in it.
Well Divyangna pointed out how ‘today’s feminism‘ is misandry and pseudo. However, through my response, I do not wish to prove the diligence of my feminism. I’d rather request her to re-frame her theory into saying how people nowadays have started to misuse the concept of Feminism. And that Feminism still remains the beautiful reality that it is, even though there are groups who have turned ugly in the garb of being Feminists. Stating how there are un-proved allegations against men and the misandry that prevails in some parts, she shouldn’t have wiped off the efforts that people are actually putting in for the awareness and equal rights for the minority communities.
Further she says that, in the present scenario we have received all the rights we deserve as women. I’d like to mention that I come from a fairly middle-class family, from an urban surrounding, and I was kept on house-arrest for 4 years when my family learned that I was romantically involved with someone. On the contrary, my Dad asked me what he should get for my bhabhi, because my brother’s girlfriend was visiting home. The inequality in treatment towards their girl and their boy child was defined right there.
A colleague of mine was upset the other day because his 3-year-old daughter was missing. On being asked what happened and why did nobody notice her moving out of home, he replied, “My wife saw Gudiya going out and shouted for help but nobody listened. She (his wife) is not supposed to step out of the doorsteps, so she could only cry out for help.”
In rural India, Divyangna says that girls can now easily dream of higher education just like Tina Dabi did – the 2016 UPSC topper, who left us delighted and proud. I fail to understand why did Divyangna not think of all the early dropouts in rural India, who are forced to leave the school for reasons such as lack of nearby institutions, withdrawal of married adolescents, expectations of helping the mother at home to feed other members (other reasons not being denied), being a few common grounds. Many girls of rural India do go to primary and secondary schools, but they lack the higher education because they are either married off or are made to sit back and help their mother at home.
She, in her anti-feminist video, mentions how rural women’s necessity is confined to roti, kapda and makaan; completely acting indifferent about their poverty. Women in the rural as well as urban areas face domestic violence, abuse and molestation almost everyday. Being raped and molested by their family members is also internalised by them. It is often that they are not even aware what they are facing is injustice and that they should be speaking against these practices. Feminism accounts for spreading this awareness. It accounts for letting the rural women as well as urban women know that there is a lot more than they receive. There’s more to life, and not just the physical and mental abuse that is deeply ingrained in the origins of the values they’re being taught by their families, who in turn are as unaware and uninformed as they are.
Divyangna also says, “If you’ll respect everyone, you’ll get respect,” to which I would want to ask her, who did the rape victims not respect? Or the little girl on the road who was touched by a passerby? Or the woman in the metro who heard comments about her by men and couldn’t do anything about it? Or my sister who will grow up to learn that she has to stay quiet when a family member abuses her?
Also read: An Open Letter To The Anti-feminists In My Life (And Yours)
Divyangna Trivedi is not the only one who assumes her privilege, studying in London and commenting on how all of us have equal rights in here. But unequal rights fairly prevail in high class urban households as well. However, I wholeheartedly agree with her promoting equality for all genders, because that is what our Feminism is. All of ours. Not new, not traditional. Just Feminism.
Harshita is an undergraduate and wanna be journalist who believes in equality for all. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
Featured Image Source: Brig Newspaper
So don’t pick 1 or 2 examples and try to show entire women class opressed, the wife who would not go outside when her daughter is going out can just move out and look for her kid, who is going to stop her, which sane women who have birth to a child will stay indoors when kid of 3 yr moves out, yes eve though women may be enjoying privileges in urban class or middle or upper middle class, there are some women who do make life living hell for men and husbands and their families, what about them, there is no provision in law for help of men and husbands and their families, no punishment for false allegations on men, many divorces have to have DV and dowry cases on husband and family even if there was no dowry harrassment and the reason for seperation is totally something else.
Feminism is good if it makes a healthy society but something strong is needed to save the society from misandry which is true. It is true and misandry is true.
Your example are pretty much classic case of how some women who called themselves feminist are living in a self-absorbed world. To be exact, “A bubble”. You gave few stupid examples regarding differences. But I would like you to tell few weeks back two cases have came where two men were beaten and burned to death because they were in relationship with their daughter. And this is done by girl’s family. No news about it and I’m pretty sure most feminist ignored. Few days back, a high authority disregarded the news that increase domestic violence and said it is just another scaremongering. Also, you need to just look at twitter and few pages which support men’s rights telling how so many men faced are facing violence and the system is not supporting them. What the Divyangana Trivedi is right. She didn’t said anything wrong about feminism but how women have started taking advantage of it, but most feminist who got hurt are the only one who are afraid to special powers they have got. And looking such scenario and such post make me realise, all this feminism seems to be just an act just to give special preferential treatment to women and not at all about equality.
If you are talking about respect, then then tell me how many men are being mob lynched, how many men are beaten to death, at this time multiple videos have come up where system is assaulting men mercilessly, and then you talk about respect for just women, multiple videos on social platforms where women are assaulting men and people just laugh. You are afraid to give respect to men and then you are talking about equality. Lol. Well if we respected men enough, then I don’t think we have such high rates of suicides among men right now.
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