My heart is trembling with fear because of the proposed Transgender Bill 2016. It is such a thoughtless bill and it will do terrible harm to the transgender community if it passes. If it passes, I am going to lose my validity as a transgender woman. I don’t want someone other than myself to scrutinize me and determine my gender.
If the proposed bill brought forth by our government passes, the welfare of transgender persons is sure to be bleak. I have had a long-term struggle with gender dysphoria. The more days that pass, my hope for freeing my trapped soul is dwindling and my hopelessness is increasing.
I think that my acute anxiety makes it more difficult for me to cope with the significant distress I suffer from severe gender dysphoria. But I as look around, I can see many trans women becoming desperate for a gender transition. Desperate is not a kind word to express their discomfort with their assigned gender.
Dysphoria is a conflict between one’s own perception of one’s gender and one’s assigned gender. A person may choose to transition socially or medically in an attempt to stop the distress from dysphoria. In both methods of transition, if the person is living with their family, the opposition may come first from family members.
Dysphoria is a conflict between one’s own perception of one’s gender and one’s assigned gender.
Families expect their child to play gender roles according to their biological sex. The opposition is not always mild. Sometimes the opposition may come in forms of violence, both physical and mental. If the person is unemployed and dependent on the family, their expression of gender might be criticized even in the extended community.
Do you pluck your eyebrows? Do you grow your hair? Are you using lip balm which causes your parents to rage? Try to think about this question: if you were a cis-het binary person, would you accept your queer children?
I have faced numerable difficulties living with my family. Telling someone to adjust to the abuse is wrong. Living in an environment of constant, unrelenting abuse can lead to mental health problems. One of the difficulties of enduring parental torture is that the victim often has no choice but to live with the abuser, so the chances of healing are diminished.
When a person tries to free themselves from domestic violence, they often end up feeling even less supported. Some may become brave enough to escape from their parents’ abuse, while others are made to believe that parental abuse is justified or somewhat deserved.
I believe we should address the discomfort of gender dysphoria one has to go through and should show some empathy in case of parental abuse. We shouldn’t act like gender dysphoria is nonexistent and parental abuse can always be fixed. This is why many transgender persons are told by people from the community that they need to adjust to their parents’ abuse and learn to live with the hardship of their dysphoria.
People may think that abusive parents are gentler and safer than the outside world would be. That no matter the degree of verbal ill-treatment a trans person faces from their parents, they are always the safest at home. Parents don’t abuse, they confuse.
Trans persons face many myths and misconceptions about gender transition. People would ask me how I grew breasts. Was I taking pills from Bangladesh? When I first heard about the pills from Bangladesh, I was only aware of a very unhealthy method of hormone replacement therapy which used Mala D contraceptive as a form of treatment.
This can be dangerous due to the fact that it can cause severe kidney damage. I took this form of hormone therapy secretly. I emailed my endocrinologist and she unscrupulously prescribed the hormone for me. She never asked for blood work before or during the ongoing hormone replacement treatment.
The treatment ended up causing my cholesterol to rise to an unsafe level and I had to stop the therapy. Why do trans women put themselves at such high risk? Why do some trans women go to extremes in order to be able to pay for the cost of transition? Is transition only a wish to be feminine or masculine?
Not being able to express one’s true gender can have an enormously detrimental effect on a trans-person’s mental health. This denial of self can lead to severe depression, even to self-destructive behavior. The pain of not being able to express one’s true gender as desired, can stimulate unhealthy coping mechanisms such as addictions.
People may think that abusive parents are gentler and safer than the outside world would be.
A seventeen-year-old transgender girl started sniffing glue in front of me because her parents threw away all her favorite clothing and makeup, and forced her to go out and work in the field as a labourer. Many of my friends become miserable every time their parents force them to cut their hair short.
I was so grossed out in my adolescence, because of my beard growing that I once rubbed a pumice stone on my face in an attempt to stop the beard from growing. I have read that in some countries, crowdfunding is helping people achieve transition.
The Iranian government subsidizes part of the cost of sex reassignment surgery for transgender people. They often use sex reassignment surgery as a corrective action for gay people in Iran which is an issue in itself.
It is my opinion that government assistance in transitioning could be a life saver for trans women in India. Until then, I have created a fantasy world of my own and only in that world I can be the woman I know I am.
Also Read: Diary Of A Muslim Transgender Girl
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