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Editor’s Note: This month, that is September 2019, FII’s #MoodOfTheMonth is Positive Sexual Experiences, where we invite various articles narrating healthy, consensual and pleasurable sex or sexual experiences.If you’d like to share your story, email us at pragya@feminisminindia.com. 


Posted By Sudeshna Rana

Sexuality education has been one of the most neglected subjects of all time. The result of this historical debacle has led to a lack of proper knowledge about positive sexual experiences that we all desire and deserve. As someone training to be in the field of education and academics, as well as surrounded by siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews and young people in general, I feel the need for proper and timely comprehensive sexuality education (CSE) is a must for a healthier society and happier individuals.  

In order to create an informed guide of pointers required to lead a healthy sex life, first the sites of miseducation in our society regarding sex must be pointed out in the discourse on sex ed.

Here are the most common sources of misguided sexual knowledge: 

  • Porn: When kids encounter sexual information for the first time through the medium of pornography, it presents the industrialization of human libido and propagates a false representation of sexual experience through misogynistic fantasies, unreal physical standards and propagation of rape culture. The bleak reality behind porn is revealed in movies like Boogie Nights and Mia Khalifa’s tell-all interview!
  • Sex Gurus: Beware of self-proclaimed god-men who dictate the rules of sexuality in terms of misinterpreted philosophy and spirituality. A special mention should also be made to magazines (the likes of Cosmo, Playboy etc.) that continue feeding the patriarchal, hetero-normative and sexist gender roles and its mainstream agenda to its readers. 

Also read: The Sacred Mundane: Revealing Sex From Behind The Veil Of Patriarchy

Image Source: Abe Books

Sex is an integral part of our lives and it is essential to remove the false ideas, repressions and societal pressures from our psyche through sex ed. Sex can be the best thing or the worst thing, but it is always important and always central to who we are.

As someone training to be in the field of education and academics, as well as surrounded by siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews and young people in general, I feel the need for proper and timely sex education is a must for a healthier society and happier individuals.  

Learn the lessons for positive sexual experience:

  • Communication: A satisfactory and enjoyable sexual encounter starts with a transparent and honest conversation about each other’s needs, level of intimacy and areas of comfort. Talking and instructing each other about their likes and dislikes is the best way to achieve the highest form of pleasure.
  • Consent: This is the most important thing required for the formation of any kind of sexual bond and can be only understood through communication. An ‘enthusiastic yes’ is the only clear marker of consensual sex.
  • Chemistry: Last but not the least, for sex to be truly enjoyable, passion and attraction is a must. It is the foundation over which a truly exciting sexual experience is built through the art of seduction! 

Last but not the least, for sex to be truly enjoyable, passion and attraction is a must. It is the foundation over which a truly exciting sexual experience is built through the art of seduction! 

Throughout the ages, poetry, music, and every form art has kept coming back to the perennial topic of love, sex and romance. Yet, modern sexual relationships have come to be defined as sites of emotional and psychological warfare.

Also read: Sexperience: Becoming Objects Of Desire, Without Being Objectified

Cleansing toxicity from your sex life demands a deep understanding of one’s self and the ones you are engaging in sexual activities with. A healthy sex life is like choosing a healthy diet. You choose according to your body’s needs, appetite and palate.

So, go along, make healthier choices and get better orgasms!


Sudeshna is an English Literature Postgraduate from Lady Shri Ram College, DU and a freelance writer. She is a bohemian with a penchant for adventure and art. You can find her on Facebook and Instagram.

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