For the longest time (even still sometimes), I did not find myself fitting in the image of a “female” or a “woman”. A woman with “feminine” qualities is often described as soft, tender, delicate, etc. which to be fair not most women are, because, simply why. As a child, I was just a girl, playing and enjoying life, playing sports, liking cars, and enjoying action films. No one said that these are not “girly” things to do, but growing up made me aware of the social connotations attached to it.
There is a “journey” of becoming a woman, of starting to be comfortable in your own body, finding female friendships, crying your eyes out, and discovering you’re good at some sport or maybe something else.
And so, it became a question to me, what is it to be a woman? I still am one even if I’m not abiding by these stereotypes, but am I a woman woman? There must be numerous women who wonder about such things and give space to such self-doubts due to societal norms and expectations. It takes a long way to break away from all these deeply rooted images and be comfortable with what you wish to be, what comes to you naturally, to embrace yourself.
There is a “journey” of becoming a woman, of starting to be comfortable in your own body, finding female friendships, crying your eyes out, and discovering you’re good at some sport or maybe something else.
A 14 y/o me watched the entire football World Cup series, and talked for hours about the final match between France and Croatia, then called multiple sports academies to find that they don’t teach football to girls for no apparent reason. It seemed like a decision was already made for me.
Stereotypes and conventions often demand women to appear, behave, dress and most importantly, act in a certain way, reducing a major part of our identities as a criticism of how we fail to fit in this perfect feminine image.
Hence, it seemed, in this journey of becoming a woman, I was going to struggle a lot with simply having to be myself.
But thankfully that is not how it ends. I was saved by the blessing of making some female friendships. These are the bizarre different women in your life who make it special in their own unique way. These can be women with whom you’re like two peas in a pod or even as different as chalk and cheese. But they support you no matter what. And that is the beauty of being a woman, we accept each other as we are and find ourselves beautiful for who we are rather than how the convention asks us to be.
Accept the cheesiness of the thought, but no one would ever look at you how many of your lovely female friends would, the amount of affection and admiration conveyed through their one look or a word of appreciation is unmatched.
Accept the cheesiness of the thought, but no one would ever look at you how many of your lovely female friends would, the amount of affection and admiration conveyed through their one look or a word of appreciation is unmatched. The process of receiving affirmation from another female is certainly a joyous one, not just for the complimented but for the complimentee as well.
A lot is survived through the bond of these friendships, whether it is the sadness of rejection for a job or a heartbreak in life. Friendships start in the craziest ways, and more so with a girl, because one moment you are thinking about how unapproachable the other girl seems and the next you both are sitting together and deciphering some deep childhood trauma.
Women mostly find it very important to be expressive. We tend to be expressive, whether it is towards work, appearance and so on. And why shouldn’t we be, the act of expression itself is an empowering one. To be able to express, convey and resonate with, is what connects us as individuals. So women express themselves through words, actions, and gestures.
One of the most prominent ways they do this is through affirmations. The process of receiving affirmation from another woman is certainly a joyous one, not just for the complimented but for the complimentee as well. It is done to express admiration, approval and acceptance towards something. A compliment from another woman conveys affirmation towards every self-doubt that one may foster, more than just a compliment, the action speaks of “I see you”.
A compliment from another woman conveys affirmation towards every self-doubt that one may foster, more than just a compliment, the action speaks of “I see you”.
When a woman reaffirms another woman, it’s not just a compliment for her or validation; it’s the strength and courage she feels when she witnesses such acts of support. It symbolises appreciation and support and strengthens the idea of a community of women. These are small acts of affection and support on which female friendships thrive. To tell each other how proud we are of each other, how beautiful they look, how I like telling them about my life before them as it is some elaborate lore and roaming around the market holding their hand.
To all my lovely ladies out there and your female friends, you all deserve all the love in the world and lots of good food, clear skin and equal pay.
