Books have been my companions since I was a very young child. They have been my guides, my solace, my escape, my friends. A lot of my understanding of the world and my values, hopes, and dreams have been shaped by the books that I have read. However, being genderfluid was not a part of these learnings, at least not for a very long time and never in much depth.
I have been raised like a woman, and by extension, I know what it is like to feel like a woman in this society. What I did not realise till much later, though, was that my understanding was more theoretical than an intrinsic sense of being or identifying as female. I knew what or how I had to feel because of the omnipresent gender norms, and therefore I either thought that I felt like a woman or gave into the “I am not like other girls” discourse. As someone who primarily consumed books as a medium of entertainment and education, they contributed widely to my understanding of being a woman. I believe it is important to address this because to date I battle in my own head with figuring out what my own experience is versus the ones that I have read in books.
Gender-fluid representation in literature
The word ‘gender fluid’ did not come to me through a book. At this point I don’t even remember where I first heard it, but something about it felt equally freeing and confusing. Gender-fluid refers to a gender identity or expression which is not fixed but rather changes across any measure of time. This sounds like such a theoretical experience when presented as a definition and remained as such in my own mind. Then something shifted in 2022 when I read The Arc of the Scythe trilogy by Neal Shusterman. There is a character called Jerico Soberanis (Jeri) in the third book, The Toll, who is gender fluid. Of course, it is not explicitly mentioned that Jeri is gender fluid. It is illustrated to the readers by never using pronouns for Jeri, and then clarifying that Jeri is a woman under the sun and clear sky, and a man under cloudy conditions. As far as I can remember, this was the first representation that I had of a gender-fluid character in a book, and I never stopped thinking about it.
There is always some amount of legitimacy that non-normative gender identities crave from popular culture. I have struggled with thoughts like, “I feel like a woman sometimes so then why am I questioning my identity? Nobody always feels exactly like their gender”. Or “I just don’t associate with the gender norms and this has nothing to do with my gender identity. How do I even know that my experience is not something every woman faces”. The hardest one I think was “I don’t exactly have dysphoria; what if I am just confused and am creating my own problems”. These thoughts were accompanied by me experimenting with my gender expression (though at the time I would never label it as such) and on days where I presented as more feminine, the voice of self-doubt would be particularly loud. But Jeri’s character made me question that voice, because there was no need for socially acceptable parameters to give legitimacy to Jeri’s gender identity. The movement of Jeri’s gender identity shifted in a whimsical manner and that was acceptable! The mere idea that our gender identity does not need to be boxed (something that should technically come with the literal definition of gender fluidity) was now finally being demonstrated to me. Yet, I only have that one example to go back to.
Is literature really gender diverse?
Beyond my personal quests and opinions, there is also research that has found gender bias to be pervasive in literature, with men being represented four times more than women (similar data does not exist to quantify the representation of other genders). While various gender identities are present in literature, it is usually the science fiction and fantasy genre that represents or explores gender variances. Even The Toll is a science fiction book, and the gender-diverse land and character are not even introduced till the final book. As someone who consumes an average of 30 books every year, I struggle to find main characters who do not fall within the gender binary or even gender-diverse side characters who are not present just for tokenistic representation.
While I am aware that the representation of other genders is increasing in literature, I still feel that mainstream commercial books are lacking in this department. One may find more non-binary or trans characters recently, and while extremely important, these characters cannot be expected to portray the experiences of everyone who does not fit the gender binary. We also need to consider the implications of finding more gender-fluid characters primarily in science fiction and fantasy when those experiences exist in reality and should not need the backdrop of science fiction to justify exploration. The absence of gender-fluid voices from commercially sold books also means that the masses continue to lack access to these perspectives. Queer folks continue to have to hunt to find experiences to relate to or, sometimes, even to find answers or validation for their own journeys.
Jeri’s character has helped me validate my experience as a gender fluid person to some extent. However, since then, I am always on the lookout for more characters who may continue to offer me relatable perspectives, or even open my mind to the possibilities of being gender fluid in ways I had not recognised. I hope that literature becomes a safer space for authors to write about diverse genders, and for readers to be able to find themselves (somewhat) in the books that they read. Till then, here is a reddit thread that attempted to compile all the books with gender fluid characters, in case you, like me, are looking for more stories to relate to.
